Wednesday, November 5, 2008

There's A Baby In My Belly?

Smelling of shampoo and baby soap, Cheeky and Monkey were tucked up in bed for stories. Tonight I was on bedtime duty as Him Downstairs was off throwing himself round a soccer pitch in an attempt to keep fit.

I read them a book called Mommies Are For Counting Stars which is all about all the lovely things Mommies/Mummies do for their children. Lots of…

’A mommy knows how to kiss a boo-boo…’

’If you need an audience for your puppet show, a mommy will watch.’

’A mommy reminds you to say “thank you”..’

Then I turned the page and read…

’A mommy can look like a rose. A mommy can have a baby inside her.’

This one is accompanied by a drawing of the mommy in a maternity dress and a hat adorned with roses. (Personally, I have never whether ‘up the duff’ or not, worn a hat with a load of dead flowers on it, but each to their own.)

Anyway, Cheeky and Monkey who have been paying close attention (for once) to my words, stop me from turning the page.

Cheeky looks closely at the picture of the mommy’s swollen belly and asks, “Mummy, why is there a baby in her tummy?

(Maybe this book was a bad idea. That’ll teach me to purchase before thoroughly reading every page.)

Because that’s where babies grow darling” I say. (Am crossing my fingers no more questions will follow, but who am I trying to kid?)

Meanwhile, his brother, Monkey, is looking down his pyjama top and saying, ”Baby. Baby. Baby? This?”

Yes boys, that mommy has a baby in her tummy, that's where babies grow.

Cheeky looks at me in exasperation. “Don’t be silly mummy, babies don't go in our bellies. We don’t eat babies, do we Monkey?”

And his brother looks at me and says, “No eat baby Mama. No. No. Me baby?

I can’t help smiling. “Yes, you’re right. We don’t eat babies.”

They wouldn’t taste good would they? I don’t want a baby in my tummy Mummy,” says Cheeky.

And with that, I wrap my babies in a bear hug, cover them in night-night kisses and assure them that in no way, will they ever have babies in their bellies. (Well, obviously not unless medical science gets that advanced in their reproductive lifetime, but that's not a conversation to get into with a 2 and 3 year old, is it?)

On the way out of the door, I dump Mommies Are For Counting Stars in the back of the closet. That was quite enough 'Where do babies come from?' talk for one night. I think I cleared it up quite well for them, don't you?


  1. Did you understand the kissing a boo boo bit ?

    I have failed the mommy test, 17 years next March and I didn't know what one was , never mind I had to kiss it. Wouldn't want to, I fear

    I wonder if The Beautiful Children feel deprived ?

  2. AG - haha - boo boo is the American term for a cut/graze/bruise. We have a foam spray on antiseptic here called, 'Boo Boo Juice'.
    Am sure your children are far from deprived...

  3. Oh my god MM, I read that title and thought SHE'S HAVING A BABY!
    Nearly gave me a heart attack!

    And you can crow all you like, you know that the questions are going ot come again and they won't settle for vague answers.
    "Well if it grows in your tummy how does it get out?" you mark my words, that question won't be too far away now!

  4. Ahhhh.

    You are lucky you are not in the UK - they are about to introduce sex education lessons for 5 year olds!

  5. Tara - Teehee - me? Preggers? Ah well, not right now, but maybe one day...though that involves doing H U G E persuasion on the hubs, who is right off the idea of 3 kids at the moment. In fact he;s not that fond of the two he has tonight, after a particularly greulling dinnertime.
    If I do get a bun in the oven, I;'ll be sure to break it to you gently. can't have Ms Tara keeling over now can we? Blogland wouldn't be the same!
    Btw - am not crowing. No siree. I wouldn't dare. I know more of those questions are mere moments away. EEEEEKKKK!

    VG - sex ed for 5 yr olds? Ber-limey, what exactly are they going to teach them? Surely they won;'t show them that awful 70s-esque birthing vid. Am still scarred by it and I was 11 when I watched it!

  6. If you're going to have 3 might as well go for 4 - look at Dave Fowler, he's doing all right on it.
    Talking of gruelling times, I've just caught my two in the bath checking out each other's bottoms with the red and yellow plastic doctor's inspector thing!
    Oh lordy!

  7. My oldest used to tell everyone that "Mommy ate the baby" when I was pregnant with number 2. A few years later we did have the conversation about how it comes out. I think I gently said that it came out of the front bottom (little brother was also in the car so I had to be careful.) After about 2 minutes of complete silence, during which I thought I had mentally scarred her for life, she came back with "But mommy, the baby will be covered in wee!"

  8. Mom/Mum, I wrote a comment last week, but it must have got lost somewhere in Cyberspace. Anyway, I also thought you were going to announce baby three! I was v excited for a second there!
    I have tagged you my lovely. 7 random things about you please...such as going to the glamorous Q awards in an free jumper inside out perhaps?
    xx Muchos Love

  9. tara - 4???? FOUR!!! dave is a better man than I because four would send me over t'edge. I think three might actually too...!
    You kids using the doctor's kit in such an inventive way really made me laugh. haha My two request to inspect me as they're fascinated that I;'m different 'down there' to them. Luckily, so far, I've avoided such inspections!

    EM - that made me laugh so much. They're so funny in their literal way of thinking as toddlers aren't they? Tips on how you explained where babies come from when tye got older, gratefully received!

    CTTF - Oh thanks for the tag - Tarte tartan aslo tagged me on this, so I really MUST write it! And do you know, i still (shamefully) wear that jumper on my jammie days! it's so darn comfy....

  10. Very well handled. Some time ago I made the mistake of telling Boy #1 that before he was a baby in my tummy, he was a tiny egg. Now ANY event that happened in my life, even if I was aged 0, he claims to remember it as 'the egg'.

  11. I still haven't worked out the subtle difference between a boo-boo and an ouchie.